Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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