i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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