Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
