Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I cut my penus on the lid.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
