Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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