i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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