weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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