if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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