Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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