Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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