Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
