Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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