So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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