you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Houston, we have a squirter
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
