I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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