When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
