Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
