She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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