we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
