Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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