I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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