ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
