I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
