so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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