Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
