i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Less talking, more tequila
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
