Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
