new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
