okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
