Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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