last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
