I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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