im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
