their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
