dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
