why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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