JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
