My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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