I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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