Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
