While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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