your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
