Your tits are I can't wait for
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
