ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
tell me about the eggs
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
