its not stalking. its research.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
