At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
