He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
