16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
