Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
