We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
